On the 2nd of Dec, 2019 I rolled up to a Detox/Treatment center. I was admitting for the first time in my life that I needed help. In selecting this center I was scrutinizing, doing my research thoroughly. I came across this one that was Holistic in nature, aside from the typical counselling, both one on one and in group , there was a number of other features such as Art, music, drum therapy, I actually took my own drum because of this, physical attributes like an an on site gym, yoga classes, nature walks and the food!! OMG The food was amazing, it was action packed days chalk full of nutrition breaks. It is safe to say all my needs were being met, and I needed only to focus on my recovery.
On A Binge
In the days leading up to that point I had partied pretty hardy! To be honest as a chronic alcoholic it is more like years, but this was more focused like I was savoring every last moment. Normally I had been a get drunk fast as you can kind of drunk, but this time I was pacing myself for a long run. I wanted to be drinking from time I woke until the time I passed out. I was in essence saying "so long" to that which I loved the most! How sad is that? I had soo many nights was the last hurrah, last one in Anacla, Lower and Upper, last one in Bamfield, last, last house party. I literally drank during every waking moment in the week leading up to my arrival at the Treatment center. I was on a mission to say the least.
Detox
I went in pretty hot, I was sober but I knew that the detox was going to be tough. I was Hot all the time I had my bedroom window opened around the clock. Finally after four exhausting days and nights my body had finally burned off the alcohol. I began to regulate and for the first time closed my window and opened the heating vent. My warming room was relaxing me. So, much so that my drum warmed too. As I was falling asleep after programing and before the evening meet. I heard my drum as though it off in a distance. Ping one time as to get my attention, and then a pause then a ping, ping, another pause then another ping, ping. The first one got my attention but I was still in the sleepy trance, the second one was like my heartbeat a double beat, I could feel it echo deep into my soul. The third time I opened my eyes I got up immediately and grabbed my drum.
Reunion
I realize this may seem odd, but I really do feel like I had a reunion with my drum. As if my drum were to say to me "there you are, I was looking for you." I have had my drum for years, I use it often. The reunion I think was with my spirit and mind clear of substances. I was full of emotion I started to drum, just drumming for some time mimicking that pattern of when "My Drum Spoke" bringing to life the heartbeat of my Ancient Spirit. I am forever grateful I took my drum with me, for my drum reunited me to my spirit guide.
Spirit Guide within
I was waiting and waiting to see what song was going to present as I was drumming the heartbeat of our People. I could feel an urge so overwhelming I had to comply. I began to howl, and howl some more then I followed that beat and began to sing my "Teachings of the Wolf Song". My drum was not only calling me but calling my spirit guide as well. My Spirit Guide represents all of which I was missing as an Addict and an Alcoholic that connection to my family, children, siblings, and ancestors alike. Connections deeper than that of my physical limitations. In my time as a lost soul I mistook alone and lonely and used that as my motivating factor to drink and suppress my spirit.
It works, If you Work it
The teachings of the wolf songs became my anthems in Rehab. I reconnected to my own songs at that healing center because my own songs are representative of my healing journey I started decades ago. I lost my way in the chaos of Addictions & Alcoholism. Now because "My Drum Spoke" I make it a point to drum and sing everyday. I even today I make it a point to say Drumming and Singing I believe it was the most overlooked part of all my Ancient Spirit tools because it has always been right by side, hiding in plain sight. I have a greater respect for my drum, for my drum reunited me with my guiding spirit. Dec 6th, 2019 at 4:44 pm My Drum Spoke!! I am glad to have listened.
Teachings of the Wolf
It works, if you work it, and you're worth it! Is a slogan amongst AA or Red Road practitioners. I like the fact that it applies to my drum as well. It works if I work it.
I need my Drum as my Drum needs me!!
